From Critic to Appreciation.

​For so long I lived with a critic in my head that endlessly berated and demeaned me:

‘I’ll never amount to anything’

‘I didn’t get all my jobs done today’

‘Oh no, I slept in’

‘I never make enough time to support everyone’

‘I don’t do enough’

Why is it that we live our lives so governed by guilt and shame ­­– apparently more at ease with seeing our failings than appreciating our qualities?

We have created a culture of social discomfort around being appreciative and loving with ourselves, as we champion self-deprecation and disregard. This is so commonplace that we have come to accept it as normal and from this foundation the bar seems to drop ever lower.

We look in the mirror and often only see the flaws. When do we actually take a moment to see ourselves in full, and appreciate, even quietly so, all our qualities?

The thing is that our relationship with ourselves determines all our other relationships, so if we are being dismissive and cruel to ourselves that same critical, conditional judgment is being played out on others.

So here is the ‘turn around’ I have been practicing:

• ‘I’ll never amount to anything’ becomes a developing relationship with myself that continually confirms my sense of self worth and value

• ‘I didn’t get all my jobs done today’ becomes a deep appreciation of the fact that I have listened to the wisdom of my body and did all that was needed

• ‘Oh no I slept in’ becomes an appreciation of the fact that I listened to my body’s needs and give myself permission to rest

• ‘I never make enough time to support everyone’ becomes a developing understanding of my limitations and what truly serves others – no more, no less

• ‘I don’t do enough’ becomes an ever deepening realization that I am enough

Simple and ongoing, the choice to make the move from critic to appreciation is having a profound and immeasurable impact in my life and the lives of every-one around me.